wing it.

today is a sad day for all of us single women out there.

two ultra importantly sexy and used-to-be bachelors are officially off the market.

there goes the idea of ever being mrs. julie jeter/buble.

i’m not going to apologize about being mia this weekend because a lot about this weekend helped me realize a good amount of things about myself.

if you will take a look at the title of this post it has a lot of significance to the weekend i had. i originally wanted to name this post “wing it wednesday” but it’s monday so that went out the window.

if you have been my bloggie friend/reader for a while you may or may not have gotten the drift that i live a very scheduled life. in fact one of the things i need to work on is being able to function if my schedule goes off plan. i’m a very routine person and more times then not it’s hard for me to break it and still be functionable.

i’m not gonna lie and pretend like i’m not neurotic because hey i probably am. and a lot of times if my routine gets disrupted well miss. cranky pants comes out.

english muffin, better n peanut butter, LC & sliced pear.

about a month ago deej even said that it was something i needed to work on with myself. she started talking about what if when i “meet someone” someday and they want to do spur of the moment things and it’s not according to my schedule. she talked about how i could lose that person if i didn’t let lose and be able to go with the flow more.

and i’m not gonna lie and it kills me to say this but she was right.

on a daily basis i normally have my entire day planned out even down to what time i would probably eat lunch and dinner. not to mention what i’m most likely having for those meals. sometimes i hate it and i hate that i’m like that. i used to be a spur of the moment fly by the seat of my pants kind of gal.

when in the world did i become so routine. so dare i say…boring?

i want to change that about myself and be able to adapt to situations where i may not be in control and may not be accorded to my routine.

i think yesterday was a great start.

i skipped the gym on saturday because i had a full day of work, bridesmaid dress shopping & other wedding planning events. saturday night the bestie and i were bums until late into the evening and i went to bed unsure of what i wanted to do sunday.

roll out wrap with LC, spicy mustard, broccoli slaw, turkey & cottage cheese

a normal night i would have set my alarm planned to go to the gym, probably prepped my breakfast, the whole 9 yards. on a sunday? yep. on a sunday. sundays are supposed to be relaxing! and although more times then not i consider my sundays relaxing. a non-neurotic person would consider my sunday a not to relaxing one more times than not.

so i woke up sunday when my body told me it was time, i had a “wing-it” kind of breakfast and i decided i was going to go to the gym only if i was feeling it. sure enough mid morning i got a burst of energy and decided to expend it at the gym. i went without my heart rate monitor and just decided that i would do whatever my body told me was cool. i ended up smooth sailing through 40 minutes on the elliptical and 10 minutes walking on the treadmill on an incline. then i headed down for some stretching and called it a day. i came home made lunch, went on a spur of the moment date with the bestie and then a spur of the moment drive into the city with deej. i didn’t plan what i would eat for dinner.

and happily it ended up being a fav.

it felt so amazing to just do what i wanted without my hrm without any planned workout or stress of what to do or what i was going to eat or where i was going to go.

go ‘head and think “julie this is really not that serious” but in all fairness i think for me it was a big step. a step to see that i don’t need a plan to survive.

so much of my life is spent stressing about what i’m going to do. everyday i’m stressed about my “lack of progress with life” i don’t have a full time job, i’m still in school, my bank account is empty, i’m still living at home, the things i “want” in life seem so far away and that stresses me out.

i’m not saying there’s anything wrong with any of the above. but for me it wasn’t how i saw my life progressing at this point. it wasn’t according to “my plan.”

and that scares the sh$t out of me.

pumpkin cake + fage icing.

is this anyway to live? shouldn’t i live just knowing that things will happen if i continue to work hard..

it’s hard for me not to. i’m a driven person who thrives on success. and it’s not like i don’t feel successful but i think i need to change the way i measure success. maybe its about the small battles and maybe if i stop planning planning planning i’ll find time to actually live.

i’m afraid if i keep going at this rate that i’ll look back in 5 years and know exactly what i did at every minute of the day and hate that.

this post was super ramblelicious and i understand if you skipped over it or had a mini wrinkle on your forehead the whole time thinking “what the eff is this crazy biotch talking about” because i’m thinking the same thing about myself. but if you feel the same way just know you’re not alone and that maybe we should both take steps towards living life and enjoying a plan-free day here and there.

cold protein oats + pb2

that’s all i have to say today :) love you all. back tomorrow with a less rambleicious post!