what to do in case of snowmergency
sleep later then usual. make sure you do this because you will need as much energy as you possibly can obtain for future shoveling endeavors
don’t workout. there’s no point. because even though you wanted it to be your ‘off’ day, lifting piles of ice for two hours is not classified as a ‘off day’
unless you have a snow blower..
...which of course we do not.
you will need this. even if you did sleep 9+ hours
make sure your breakfast is heavy on the carbs, heavy on the protein and double heavy on the fats
egg white oats made with almond milk, 4 egg whites, nutmeg & cinnamon topped with peanut butter & raspberry preserves
you will need this to shovel ice.
because that’s what is outside, it’s not snow. it’s ice.
you know it’s sad when you say to your mom “hey ma have you seen my shoveling fleece..”
also know as your “i hate you parents for owning a shoe store on a huge corner” outfit
not because you want to.
but because you’re 24,you live at home, your parents pay for your groceries half the time, and you’re not paying rent
so because you have to.
and try not to punch your dad when he says “this is why we workout jul! for days like this.”
so bring your ipod, buckle down, and shovel your way through keSha, alanis morisette, and sugarland
because i’ve got one hand in my pocket and the other one is giving mother nature the middle finger
a blender filled with pink magic
and a plate of crispy veggies with proper dipping accoutrements
and then relax.
actually go beyond relaxation
find your computer, trade your timberlands for a pair of fuzzy slipper socks, maybe bake some pumpkin cornbread muffins and watch the social network
and find that dark chocolate bar in the back of your freezer
and have a snow day
because you bitch slapped that snowmergency in the behind.
that’s right snow. no bitchassness here.
love to love you <3
did you bitch slap that snow in the face today or did you get bitchslapped? if so how? if not then how was your day!?